So, yesterday was a pretty good day, best one on the Camino so far. Until it wasn’t. I am writing the post for yesterday this morning because I was too disheartened to write last night.
But first, the good.
I got out at 7:30am to a walk in light rain. I had heard it raining in the night, so I knew it would be a wet day. I did not bring anything for rain (no jacket, no umbrella), so I was really hoping it wouldn’t rain too hard. And it didn’t. Steady light drizzle to mild rain all day, but never deluge. It was actually nice…wet and cool.
I hiked along a stream and saw hundreds of little moving things scattering on the ground in front of me. They were tiny frogs! They were the smallest frogs I have ever seen! Maybe the size of the tip of my pinkie finger, and black. Maybe baby frogs?
Then, it was up…and up….and up. I hiked up and over a mountain pass, through a forest. The rain and lack of other people around made it quiet, serene, beautiful. The rain and the many Eucalyptus trees made the air smell wonderful.
I was very happy and calm until I came by a lonely house with a hidden (but chained) angry dog. He ran out, aggressively barking, and I thought he was going to get me for a moment. The spike of fear and adrenalin meant that my happy peace was no more.
The next hour or two was more of the same forest walk with more lonely houses with aggressive dogs. I was very nervous, afraid there would maybe be a free dog to attack me. So, I found a stick to carry, and tried to tell myself I would be ok. (I have a fear of dog attack after some problems with dogs in Thailand)
After 2 hours of walking, I saw a nice picnic spot and stopped for a rest and snack.
The rest of the day went well, my feet were feeling better and my toe had shrunk back to normal size so it fits in the boot again. Lots of beautiful scenery, and feeling good enough to actually enjoy it.
I came into Laredo and found my place for the night. It is in a convent and they have special things for pilgrims. I was very excited about being there and experiencing it. I felt pretty good, so I decided to shower and then go do my laundry (need clean socks and underwear!). That’s when my day turned…
The shower is one of those European space pod things with narrow opening. On the way out of the shower I kicked and banged my toe on the rail. Yes, the already damaged and just got better toe. That one.
The old blister poofed back up instantly, but now filled with blood. The toe turned purple and hurt so bad I could barely place it on the ground. I drained the blood….Lots of blood. I felt devastated.
I finally had a pretty good day and my foot was finally feeling better. I had turned a corner. I imagined the next few days walking to be pretty good….now this. I might not be able to walk at all, and even if I can, it will be terribly painful again.
I did do my laundry, but every step (in my flip flops) was excruciating and confirming that just putting my boots on would be a challenge much less walk 10 miles in them.
My heart sank. It might be over for now, maybe my Camino must take a pause.
It hurt so bad on my return that I laid down. I did not go to the special mass and pilgrim blessing, I did not go to the special music and sharing time for pilgrims. My toe hurt too bad and I needed to keep it elevated.
I did go to the shared meal. It was ok, but mostly just socially uncomfortable for me. Strangers speaking in different languages, trying to talk to each other and communicate over a meal. The only thing we have in common is the Camino. So, awkward.
I was also very hurt when I could barely come down 2 steps and a man behind me clearly laughed at my trouble. Maybe it was a laugh of understanding the Camino, but it felt awful to me. This injury that maybe ends my journey, and this man thinks it is funny? It wasn’t even a Camino injury, it was stubbing my toe in the damn shower!😢😠
So, when I went to bed, I did something many of you would think is a little….woo-woo. I first sent all my body gratitude. I thanked my body for its hard work and for allowing me this Camino journey. Then I thanked my toe for trying so hard for me. I apologized to my toe for not taking better care of it. Then I sent my toe special love and gratitude. I sent it healing energy. I said I would do my best to take good care, even if it means pausing my walk. I sent it love and healing again. Then I went to sleep.
In the middle of the night I woke up, wiggle my toe. No pain.
I got up this morning, stepped down, no pain. Almost like nothing ever happened.
Now, I’m not saying I did special body healing magic. The body naturally heals itself during sleep anyway, maybe my little mental thing the night before didn’t change anything. But, I figure it didn’t hurt anything either!
Maybe, and I should have all along, I will send my body some love and gratitude each and every night. After all, it is working very hard for me, it deserves some love.