Like, right now, Please?
Today was ROUGH. The trail was longer, and somehow so very much harder than yesterday. Just after halfway I sincerely wished for a bus…to just about anywhere. I wanted to stop. I needed to stop. I was DONE with this walking bit.
I have a selection of painful blisters on both feet in the same spot. They are right in the fold at the base of my big toes, extended now to the ball of the foot, and the right one has extended up in between my big toe and the second toe all the way up to the top of my foot. The left one has a bruise around it. Every single step hurts, badly. I feel this big bag of fluid squishing and bulging and expanding with each step I take. And it is not like I can just stop, I’m in the middle of the coast walking in sandy dunes without a town or another person in sight. Oh, and both shoes filled with sand which add to the joy of the day…imagine sandpaper instead of socks. Yes, I tried stopping to dump the sand out of my shoe…it worked for about 1 minute, which is how long it apparently takes for shoes to re-fill with sand.
At one point I wanted to sit and cry, but that would get me nowhere. So, I walked and cried so at least I could be moving forward while I had my pity party. Then, I chanted (out loud)…I CAN do this, I can DO this, I can Do THIS. I did that for about 5k….And every time I said can, my mind whispered can’t.
I spent another 5k asking why the hell I was doing this anyway. Seriously, NOT having fun, not enjoying it, it won’t prove anything or accomplish anything…WHY AM I DOING THIS???? I don’t have an answer, not yet at least.
I limped my way though what felt like endless sand dunes at the end….endless. Except, eventually the town appeared and I hobbled to the hostel, where I promptly asked for a needle and thread. Thank GOD they had some.
And, thank goodness I learned about threading a blister. Genius.
What is threading? Well…you get a sewing needle and thread it…then you pass needle and thread through your blister. Leave the thread…with the end dangling outside your blister. Yep, you heard that right.
Why the hell would you do that? The initial pop of the blister does minimal damage to the skin (needle) and puncturing allows you to drain the painfully accumulated fluid. The thread though is the awesome part! Since the thread stays in, the blister hole can’t close up and allow the blister to re-form and re-fill with fluid. You leave the thread overnight or longer and it lets all the fluid keep draining out instead of making the blister again.
It works.
So…my mental pack list now includes needle and thread. It is the only thing that makes walking the last leg tomorrow even a remote possibility.
Whaaat??? After all that I just said…Yes, I am considering it. Tomorrow is the last day I planned to walk. It is 15k…and it is the difference between doing what I said I would do and giving up 1 day early.
I figure…if I can stand up on both feet without crying tomorrow (because right now I can NOT), then maybe I will try to finish this. I have fully given myself permission to stop. Somehow that’s exactly why I kinda want to keep going (IF I can).