I’ve stopped making pack lists the way I used to do, I know what I need to bring and what I don’t. In fact, I don’t need a list anymore because it is now A LOT shorter than it used to be. The more you travel, the less you bring, the more you realize how little you actually need to be comfortable. You travel enough times, you start to learn that what you pack is not all that you bring with you.
The one thing I NEVER had on my pack list, and ALWAYS bring with me? Me. I can’t ever seem to leave that behind, even the parts I wish I could leave at home. So, those anxious parts…they come with me in that overpacked mental suitcase that’s bulging with thoughts I wish I could leave behind.
Today’s items:
*worried I can’t handle the upcoming walks along the fisherman’s trail….because this time I’m totally alone and have no friends with me. What if I get blown off the cliff? What if I get lost because I’m walking the official trail backwards? What if I run out of water and get so dehydrated that I pass out and no one knows where I am? What if I’m just not strong enough?
*what if something bad happens to (fill in here with all people and pets that I love) while I am gone?
*what if my husband burns down the house (on accident, of course)?
*what if I get too distracted on this train and miss my stop?
However, even though I have this annoying crap in my mental suitcase that I can’t seem to get rid of, and it sometimes feels like the heaviest of all the stuff I carry…I at least get to pick up a few nice souvenirs too.
And somehow these little trinkets make my load lighter instead of heavier.
Things like:
*That glorious feeling of independence and freedom to do what you please, as you please, when you please.
*the exquisite feeling that comes when everything comes out ok and nothing goes wrong.
*the reassurance that comes when stuff does go wrong and you manage to get through it without the world coming to an end.
*seeing human compassion and kindness happen everywhere you go
*realizing that most people are mostly the same and mostly kind most of the time
*seeing new and interesting things and places (ok, obvious…but still worth mentioning)
*somehow knowing that, even with all your fears rolling around in your head, a piece of you knows and truly believes that everything is going to be ok (I hope)